The hand of time

Amazing, life is.
Short, long.
Quick, slow.
High
and
low.

The buzzing of the bee
1 second, 200 beats
I’ve lost 69425237200 beats.

Numbers for some.
Memories for others.

A song, an hour
A poem, a breath
The loss of a brother, mortal eternity

My life is like a vapour: here today;
gone the next

We measure life in moments, not time
Time passes by but moments remain forever

I treasure the moments I had with you
Time erodes away at my memory
but those measured moments remain firm,
etched within the palette of my mind

At first, time was my enemy
moving so slow
reminding me of the pain
deep, deep, very deep down inside me.
Then time became my friend
helping me remember the moments,
the moments that counted.

I remembered, again, that I loved you.
I remembered that I never told you.
Time passes by.
The memories fade but the moments remain.

How do I keep you alive in me?
Is there somewhere I can go?
I have only moments that
I dare not allow time to remove from me.
But time steals from me the treasures I store.

So, I fight time and I cherish it.
I hate it and crave it.
What I wish to forget
is made into moments forever.
What I desire to remember,
locked away in a deep cavern in my mind.
The key buried beneath a mound of melting memory.

My knuckles bare and bleeding
from digging away, toiling,
searching for moments forgotten;
hanging and suffering in the memories.
Only my tears will wash the blood away.
Only my pain will reveal my heart.

Time, my accuser.
Time, my healer.
Time, my enemy.
Time, my friend.

The hand of time
it holds me tight
I cannot fight it.
The hand of time
it lets me die
to live forever.

I need more time.
I need less time.

The moments we measure by;
they remain, always.

© MH.
17/11/2010

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6 thoughts on “The hand of time

  1. This was a very tough and confusing poem to write because it reveals a bit of what’s going on inside me, much of which I’m still not sure about, when it comes to losing someone close like a family member.

    In two day’s time I will, again, remember the death of my brother. It is eleven years since he died. Time will remind us of the past but it can also heal us of the past. I will light up a cigar in his honour, in his memory, and remember the moments.

    I miss him though, very much.

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    1. I know you miss him, his leaving has left a huge gap in all our lives. But God is good and he restores the good memories at times when we least expect it. Enjoy that cigar!!! I feel so blessed to have had three special boys in my life, thank you God for my three sons. Love you Maths.

      Like

  2. “How do I keep you alive in me?
    Is there somewhere I can go?”
    *Sigh* that’s beautiful.
    God bless.

    Like

  3. Hi Matt! It is sometimes hard to find the memories…when times as passed us by. I find rest in knowing I will see my sister again. (She passed away when she was 14).
    Enjoy that cigar in his honor! :)

    Like

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